Handfasting
Handfasting is gateway ritual that joins two people into a
relationship. It is an undertaking to each other, and predates all other forms.
Some call it a witches marriage, but it usually has no recognized legal
status, probably does not effect your tax position and is considerably more
flexible. It has far more to do with the people involved and far less to do with
others, or protecting against benefit claims or pandering to the conceived
society view.
It is romantic, honourable and not necessarily for a long time. When used by
witches the first time may be for a shorter period, to see how they get in
renewable a year at a time, making anniversaries particularly meaningful.
There are three elements to a handfasting
- An agreement
- Crossing or passing through the gateway
- Your promise to each other
The agreement
There is no required format or content, you can design and create your own to
exactly suit your needs, however to provide some help and guidance we have
arranged for 4 handcrafting agreement formats to be created and available here.
The formats we have cover what handfasting is, your promise, the potential role
of children within the relationship, and financial matters, in each case both
during and afterwards.
These agreements are the result of a fairly large project across a number of
paths, coordinated by and crafted by the Water Witches. They are representative
of real life. Many handfastings even if renewed or taken out for a long period
will be dissolved eventually, and in many relationships, one or both parties may
also have other relationships running in parallel. There will also be
differences in how the financial proceeds are to be split when the relationship
ends. They are take into account pleural arrangements, and as presented they do
not say what one must do, but in most cases it is to be with the consent of the
only other person effected. It has little to do with show or putting on any
artificial position, or staying in a relationship that has passed its sell by
date. For many perhaps it will be a model they can further adapt.
Crossing or passing through the gateway
Usually some action is performed, such as stepping over a broom or the ring
of a blacksmiths anvil with a hammer. It some religions it is
turning around a set number of times, or perhaps showing a token such as placing
a ring on a finger. It can equally be sealed with a kiss. It just needs to be an
action that both recognise as being the moment.
Your promise to each other
To many participants this is the most important part, the wording is most
often formed from a part of the agreement. Like the agreement you can write your
own that represents what you both feel. As this goes with the agreement it can
leave out all the detail about term, renewal, dissolution, children, finances
and restrictions that are imposed.
An example of a promise that could go with the agreements is available to
download and is:-
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Our promise
This
ritual we enact, giving our word each to the other, stepping over into a
new phase within our lives, is about trust, honour, and being each
responsible for the others well being, and happiness.
We call
for the support of all things, all powers and all of nature and the
spirit to support us in achieving our aims. We give our undertaking to
honour this agreement and each other, and to acknowledge that breaking
of such an undertaking would deserve dire consequences.
By
entering into a handfasting we both agree to respect, honour, be
trustworthy and to do all within our power to bring happiness to each
other, not to take each other for granted and to start from this day
with a clean slate, not holding anything that has occurred before this
point against the other. Not to do anything that would harm or hurt the
other and to talk openly and honestly to the other about our feelings,
concerns and any problems we may see.
We agree
to share our bodies, our breath, our council, and our existence while
together, and to not forget each other while we are apart.
We seal this
with a kiss as we pas through the handfasting gateway.
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Handfasting documents
you can download
3 formats
- Word 2002- word 2002 and later
- Word RTF - for other or older word formats
- PDF, keeps the nice script even if you don't have the font. so
easily printed as it is.
4 variations,
- A - neutral rules, more beneficial at end to female
- B - neutral rules, equality at end
- C - neutral rules but more of an open relationship, equality at end.
- D - more open for the male that the female, but more beneficial at end
to the female.
Promise
Click below to download
History to today
Handfasting is far
older than marriage which is a fairly new invention, the older method
was just to make a statement and take to woman home, crossing the
doorway completed the operation for many in middle England. Handfasting
was often undertaken by blacksmiths, and hitting the anvil with his
hammer was the earliest form of ring, and then stepping over something.
Traditionally handfasting served as a public statement that two people
were now one.
Engagements came
about as it was essential to be able to have children to look after you
in old age, therefore engagement was the period originally between
deciding to marry and a pregnancy occurring and sometimes the birth of
the first live child. The engagement ring developed from the concept
that the man made a deposit, committing to the contract at enjoyment,
and to discourage making many girls pregnant who they did not then
marry. Later when the marriage was to come about a dowry would go to the
man, with his bride.
Large numbers went
to Gretna Green Scotland, the first
village in Scotland over the English border, after 1754 when lord
Hardwicks marriage act was introduced in
England increasing the age required to marry without parents consent to 21,
while in Scotland it was kept to
16. The traditional Anvil weddings , known as handfasting ceremonies,
in Scotland, were banned in 1940. But since 1977 it has been legal again
to marry in the Blacksmith's Shop. Nowadays both religious and civil
ceremonies are conducted. Every year now about 5,000 couples marry in
this area.
Craft members have always had handfastings, but kept them separate
from the legal act of marriage, so often also going through a civil or
Christian service as well for the benefit of relatives and others.
Today many also enter Handfastings without feeling the need for a
legal or social recognition, but beyond just moving in together a or
sharing a bed from time to time.
You don't have to be a witch or of any specific religion or none to
take part in a handfasting, and you can do it together with out the need
for anyone else to be present, or know of it. |
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